To homeschool, or not to homeschool that is the question………..

Military life and travel has led our family through well trodden tracks, and some less so. Mississippi is definitely the latter, and in the words of Vincent Van Gogh ‘Normality is a paved road; it’s comfortable to walk but no flowers grow in it’. When we arrived in January 2019 I knew we had to bloom and grow all on our own. Our interstate moves had been cushioned by the help of welcome days and other families in similar circumstances. This move was a new posting for the ADF, and a whole new experience for us as a family. Like many other military families, I have noticed that shared life experiences as a family draw you together; I was bracing myself for the invisible string to pull firmly.

Family life choices

Looking at a new future

Hopes to bloom like an Australian December Daisy

The Australian school year runs February to December, and in America it runs August to May. Factor in curriculum differences, travel aspirations and the old ‘changing schools challenge’ led us down the route of ‘distance schooling’. Some have described this to me as homeschooling, unschooling, independent learning, home learning, self-directed learning, life learning, organic learning, natural learning, autodidactism, worldschooling, child-led learning, student-led learning, delight driven learning (whomever came up with this final term is a wild, wild optimist). So, I quit my teaching job in a top Canberra school and have followed my husband to the deep South of America to facilitate teaching our girls. We chose this, in the words of Winnie the Pooh ‘You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes’. #embracingmilitarymagic.

Salute your cause

Lady running down to the riptide

Sticking together

Travel makes you modest it really allows you to see what a tiny place you occupy in the world. America has been a great place to trial unschooling as a family due to there being over 2.3 million unschooled students here. A large proportion of these students are from military families. I am not going to go in to the reasons of why people choose these paths, nor am I going to justify our decision in depth, and I also advise that this path is not to be chosen flippantly. I will however share how the past 6 months has been for us with our 9, 11, 13 and 15-year-old children. The girls once shunned at speaking the words, ‘I am homeschooled’, in fear of the enlightened writing by Voltaire ‘Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road’. The reaction we have received here is of inclusivity. Lesson number one was right there, ‘when you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose your self-worth in the process’. Too often this has applied to my girls during interstate moves and it is understandable, they spend at least 6 months forging their way in a new environment. Like an Arctic fox’s coat on seasonal change this inevitably involves my girls reinventing themselves to fit in, and falling behind in their studies in the process. Unschooling totally removed that pressure, if you think about it when have you ever had a chance in your life to just work out what makes you happy. The purpose of this story is to share what unschooling has brought to us as an Australian Military family posted overseas. As a high school teacher myself, I have spent many years helping my year 10 students cross the invisible boundary to be ‘accepted’ to their chosen subject selections, and ticked off the curriculum dot points to give ATAR success to my Y12 students. There is nothing wrong with this form of learning, or teaching. It is what so many countries dictate as a necessity for tertiary education. In truth I have been on the flip side of the fence welcoming an unschooled student in to my class noting the eye roll from other colleagues and expecting some serious ‘gaps in necessary knowledge’. Taking an overseas posting when you know you will return and your eldest daughter will be in Y11 can be a daunting prospect, Y10 prerequisites do not line up, and in our case you know the education at your posting location does not equate with that of her ‘targets’.

Mississippi Musings

Learning a new game

It’s not all bubble and butter beer

In a world of social media scrutiny for youths it has been invaluable to be able to take a step back and look inwards instead of outwards. Having time to find happiness and strength within themselves is a gift that the military have given our children through this experience. Many US military families homeschool and the on base support and groups have been invaluable to us (and their support model would be a great basis for the ADF to focus on in supporting homeschooling families). I have had to get myself out in to the community and seek these groups, but social media is a huge time saver. Searching groups for teen and tween homeschoolers has been a real blessing. For any military family finding your ‘tribe’ on any posting is important.

PACMAN was tricky to navigate for homeschooling, and so was finding an Australian state that would accept us for public schooling given that we did not have a residential address. However, with enough resolve and determination, you really can do anything, as many of us military families have proven again and again.

Finding a way – determination

Acceptance in to library programs

The kids drum up support for us…..

Unschooling has provided me with a huge mental load as a spouse, but that is no different to any military posting whatever the circumstances. On many postings I have held on to the words of Winston Churchill ‘To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often’. Whilst unschooling in a new environment we have had to engage in some open and frank discussions that may have not happened if I had been working, and we had not opted for this posting. I am grateful for being able to develop strong and connected relationship with my teens and tweens. We talk openly on their schedule, figuring out what they want to do, and work together to help accomplish their goals. We have tried to nurture a relationship to encourage our girls to see us as facilitators of their education, solve problems together and burst through barriers as a team. This team reality has been tougher than I imaged. I have at times sat in a simmering stew of homeschool despair. Even being an ‘actual teacher’ being responsible for the overarching education of our children is a massive responsibility. Tracking four grade levels and questioning if the youngest (who takes up the majority of my time) is infact limiting the time and effectiveness I could be spending with my pre-ATAR students. Add in everyday tasks of the home management, appointments, special events and extracurricular activities my head often spins in seemingly endless circles. Members of my family and some friends challenged me with questions about our children’s well being, like socialisation and academic preparedness. I found it a struggle to justify the financial outlay for curriculum and distance schooling fees given that we will now be living from one income even with the overseas allowances, I have and still do feel overwhelmed, alone and scared. I know that this doubt will continue throughout our overseas posting but at I have found myself some mentors and support networks.

Homeschooling – you must be kidding????

Am I a tightrope…..

I will be enough.

I understand that our children are going to have successes and failures in life no matter what. As a parent, you constantly doubt your choices, we have to trust that the wisdom we follow is the best path. My doubts often creep in, often I want a break, I have almost taken my kids down to the school district to enrol them. My mind often wanders and I have visions of quiet days with a clean house, our bookshelves are not crammed full of textbooks. I see that choosing to unschool has given our kids a chance to really get to know themselves better. I hope this will allow them to be more competent in charting their own course in life. To be honest I am still unsure of what I REALLY ‘want’ to do with my time on the earth and I am almost 40. Maybe that is why we chose to take the untrodden path and hope to see it open to reveal the panoramic view.

State parks – a wealth of information

Breaking boundaries. School changes for the better.

One of the biggest benefits of unschooling is that you get to drop being the enforcer of all things school-related. I don’t think PTA Mums are true villains as the stereotype may like you to believe but entering the Lion’s Den of the playground yet again to start afresh is frankly exhausting. It is challenging but I can see when you can let go of the ‘what ifs and I can’t do this’, something wonderful happens. Your teen sees that they matter to you more than school matters to you, maybe they will get to feel what it’s like to be prioritised by their parents. In a military family it can be tricky to find this balance.

In the words of the former American president Barack Obama ‘If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking eventually you’ll make progress’. After 6 months of #homeschooling #distanceschooling #thankyouschooloftheair, despite the wobbles, we are going strong. We are in this for the ride and enjoying the exploration.

Discussing gaining outer recognition

Make your path bloom

Stand tall and be enough.